I assume that you came across this page because you want to get to know me. Hope that is true because if not, none of what I would say will matter to you, nor make any sense due to your lack of interest. In order to help you escape from your boredom state of mind I need to make sure that you are in a setting which provides you with absolute comfort before you dig into my personal world, a mixture of realities and imaginations.

If you are in a decaffeinated state I suggest you get a cup of coffee from your favorite brewing house and get back to me right here on this page, and if you don’t like coffee, why don’t you try tea? OK. You are not listening to me because you just hate coffee or you reduced your caffeine consumption. Well, I had thought about that too, and the solution is to make the following mix and drink it at your own risk before you continue reading and wait approximately 30 minutes (I assume no responsibility for you getting stomachache, diarrhea, or any sort of allergic reaction, pain, or sickness): 2 cups of organic raw sheep’s milk, 2 bananas, 1/2 pound of strawberries, 8 fresh dills, 5 1/2 raspberries, 3 1/4 blackberries, a handful amount of walnuts, almonds, and raisins, 1/8 cup of honey, and 1/2 cup of your favorite unsweetened cereal - no Cheerios, and no Cinnamon Toast Crunch - they just ruin the taste.

Are you cheating and continuing reading? OK. I am going to give you one last warning! Leave this page. I don’t appreciate cheaters reading this page.

OK. I am sorry if you did what I told you. I was not calling you a cheater. I just wanted to point out how important it is to follow the instructions to maximize your joy of reading this page. Something that bugs me so much at this point is that I do not have the power to accept responsibility for those who get sick from trying my shake recipe. Last time someone who didn’t want me to state her name, send me a message through my site saying this:

Arya, I hate you for giving me such an obscured shake recipe. I had ran out of cereal, and I decided to just drink it like that, and it made my intestines to squeeze like a snake which got shot. You are an whole.

This was my response:

Dear , I am sorry about what happened to you. I am pretty sure the problem was the unbalanced nutrition caused by lack of cereal. I was very restrict on the recipe, so next time please go buy a pack of cereal to put it in the shake.

And I did not reply but I got a clue about why she was sick.

Folks, do not try that shake with alcohol, it makes you feel what she felt.

Another time, somebody emailed me saying he added a potato to the shake, and I don’t want to discuss what he did at all.

Well, please go with the easy steps folks, and get a coffee. Making the shake requires some skills.

And finally about me:

My name is Arya, and I was born in Iran. I enjoy writing and teasing people. And I don’t believe online profiles, social networks, or my personal website can represent much about me than knowing me in person. And if you have read this post so far, I would like to appreciate you being curious in knowing me.

What are the chances that a family owns two cars with meaningful license plates? Of course anyone can order their customized version, but I am talking about a normal randomly picked California license plate. Some people consider their car’s license plate to be a reflection of what they are passionate about and that is why they order customized versions, but pictures bellow show the random versions of license plates that can also reflect the personality of the owner; however, the meaning might not be true nor pleasant.

First meet “5EXB085,” read “SEX BOBS.” I don’t know who B08s are, but perhaps the owner likes to have sex with guys named B08. The grammar is correct assuming there is a hidden subject ‘I’ with 5EX being a verb in present tense; “I sex bobs,” meaning “I like to have sex with Bobs.”

Second meet “4JOB114.” “114″ is the confusing part, but those like me who have ADD can assume “114″ is the same as ‘411,’ the information hotline. The interpretation of this license plate is that the owner has found his job through “411,” so he is being an evangelist of “411″ claiming that ‘4′ finding a “JOB” call “411.” Maybe there is a hotline “114″ explicitly for finding jobs. Thanks to the lovely owner of these two cars for allowing me to comment on her exciting license plates. Have fun with B08.

As of writing this note, I have successfully moved out of the City of Los Angeles, and settled down in the city of Campbell, a beautiful, charming, and quiet city in Silicon Valley surrounded by creek parks, Campbell historic town, and of course, bunch of tech companies. I was fortunate to find a nice one bedroom apartment within two days after moving.

Now that I live alone, I have to say that I miss you all my roommates for the past three years at UCLA, and let me have this opportunity to remark some of the good or bad memories we had together:

Thank you Hamid Ameli for putting up with my cleanliness habits for the first year, and I know that it was harder for you to deal with it for an extra year, and I hope that was the only reason you moved out, and I apologize to you on behalf of our prudent friend who made this situation to a long-term drama by stepping into it unwisely. Besides, I am very happy that we are back together.

Scott McDevitt, I don’t know if you ever come across this post, but I am glad that I was not rooming with you for more than two months; I really not appreciated you drying your dirty shoes in my oven which I used for cooking and leaving your fealty spaghetti dishes all over the kitchen, and by the way, please don’t break into my apartment and step on my bed ever again! Other than that, I wanted you know that you were a cool, and funny guy, and I missed you putting so much sugar into your tea every time.

I owe Stanley a lot for being someone more than a friend; he was a good supporter, and listener. I am sorry that I made fun of you sometimes; you should know that half of the fun in that apartment in Ashton was because of you. I’ll see you around sometimes in the Bay Area.

Michael Ma, all I knew about you the first year was that you are an IEEE project member. But I am happy that we lived together. If you weren’t there, I wouldn’t have known some great people today like my feature lawyer Mr. Bruce Almighty, republican spokesperson Kara Cockerill, feature artist and singer Tenisha Williams, Kristina and Joey, Fiona, and Amy Yiu who I am sure is going to become the next Mother Theresa in the history except that she is not Albanian.

Yen Chen, you are someone special! One day I guess I have to pay $70 to come and watch your competition in Guilty Gear, Star Craft, or whatever game you were playing. I have seen a lot of it; thus I can testify it is worth bidding on your gaming skills. Secondly, if you ever open a restaurant and you become the chef, I’ll be your customer on hourly basis. Your oregano flavored poultry will always carry your signature with it. By the way, thank you for cleaning the room two weeks before I move out, it meant a lot to me.

Nathaniel Roberts, you are a great friend, though, I want you know that one day you make a really good father. It was your help and advice that helped me move on regardless of some tough feelings I had; your experience was a mirror giving me a reflection of myself with a wider spectrum, making it easier to see. If you weren’t there, I wouldn’t have been happy in San Jose now. By the way, I suggest you be cautious with Persian girls because they might distract you too much, and you end up being at UCLA for 10 years.

Daniel Nguyen, welcome home! I know the first few days were awkward with my life packed in boxes lying in the living room, but I want to let you know that you have great roommates. Enjoy your time with them as much as you can. Don’t forget to take advantage of rooftop view and Jacuzzi; it was something I often forgot about.

Last, but not least, the greatest goofy of them all, Mr. Kamran Afshari. You are a great man and relative, but a sneaky paparazzi; for sure one day I am going to be very famous and then you can make a use of your recorded material and pictures, but unlike your intentions, I will benefit from exposure of those materials to public since my definite career is very related to the performances in those pictures and videos. “Yo baastad” left me out! I am the only uncle living here, and I’ll have to make up for your uncle duties too. I’ll make sure that your nephew doesn’t learn anything about you. Hey! Stay strong and keep the ‘V’ card. It won’t lose its value. And if you got an academia opportunity, you better go for it! I hope we all stay tuned and in touch. Leaving LA shouldn’t mean anything except being 320 miles apart. Otherwise our hearts will stay young and beat together.

Respect.

Last Friday, while being out with friends at the Spot, in realm of being buzzed, in the middle of jokes and random dilemmas, Hatihana brought up a question which seemed very interesting to me. The question itself has psychological interpretation, but I had no prior knowledge of how it works or what different responses mean. Every person at the table was asked to answer the question. The discussion turned to be very philosophical, but my version was rather short, and I keep the interpretation of my response for my readers. And finally, the questions was if there is a black, white, red, and blue door, in what order do you open them and what do you see behind each door?

My response:

I open the black door first. What I see are pregnant widows who are dressed in black. Next, I open the white door, and I see innocent kids wearing white gowns. Then I open the red door, and I see unleashed youths, reckless and drunk, high and plunk, dancing with love and passions. And finally, I open the blue door and all I see is a huge graveyard with grassy ground and white graves with burned black ashes of dead bodies cornering the sides of each grave.