I assume that you came across this page because you want to get to know me. Hope that is true because if not, none of what I would say will matter to you, nor make any sense due to your lack of interest. In order to help you escape from your boredom state of mind I need to make sure that you are in a setting which provides you with absolute comfort before you dig into my personal world, a mixture of realities and imaginations.

If you are in a decaffeinated state I suggest you get a cup of coffee from your favorite brewing house and get back to me right here on this page, and if you don’t like coffee, why don’t you try tea? OK. You are not listening to me because you just hate coffee or you reduced your caffeine consumption. Well, I had thought about that too, and the solution is to make the following mix and drink it at your own risk before you continue reading and wait approximately 30 minutes (I assume no responsibility for you getting stomachache, diarrhea, or any sort of allergic reaction, pain, or sickness): 2 cups of organic raw sheep’s milk, 2 bananas, 1/2 pound of strawberries, 8 fresh dills, 5 1/2 raspberries, 3 1/4 blackberries, a handful amount of walnuts, almonds, and raisins, 1/8 cup of honey, and 1/2 cup of your favorite unsweetened cereal - no Cheerios, and no Cinnamon Toast Crunch - they just ruin the taste.

Are you cheating and continuing reading? OK. I am going to give you one last warning! Leave this page. I don’t appreciate cheaters reading this page.

OK. I am sorry if you did what I told you. I was not calling you a cheater. I just wanted to point out how important it is to follow the instructions to maximize your joy of reading this page. Something that bugs me so much at this point is that I do not have the power to accept responsibility for those who get sick from trying my shake recipe. Last time someone who didn’t want me to state her name, send me a message through my site saying this:

Arya, I hate you for giving me such an obscured shake recipe. I had ran out of cereal, and I decided to just drink it like that, and it made my intestines to squeeze like a snake which got shot. You are an whole.

This was my response:

Dear , I am sorry about what happened to you. I am pretty sure the problem was the unbalanced nutrition caused by lack of cereal. I was very restrict on the recipe, so next time please go buy a pack of cereal to put it in the shake.

And I did not reply but I got a clue about why she was sick.

Folks, do not try that shake with alcohol, it makes you feel what she felt.

Another time, somebody emailed me saying he added a potato to the shake, and I don’t want to discuss what he did at all.

Well, please go with the easy steps folks, and get a coffee. Making the shake requires some skills.

And finally about me:

My name is Arya, and I was born in Iran. I enjoy writing and teasing people. And I don’t believe online profiles, social networks, or my personal website can represent much about me than knowing me in person. And if you have read this post so far, I would like to appreciate you being curious in knowing me.